Male And Female Relationship
For the man is not of the woman;
but the woman of the man: (1 Cor. 11:8).
but the woman of the man: (1 Cor. 11:8).
For Adam was first formed,
then Eve; (1 Tim. 2:13).
then Eve; (1 Tim. 2:13).
As we have seen, it was a genetic necessity for Adam to come first, then Eve from Adam. But are there fundamental differences between men and women other than the obvious ones of genetics and physical characteristics? If so, how do these differences influence the relationship of a man and a woman?
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Nevertheless, neither is the woman without the man,
nor the man without the woman,
in the Lord. (1 Cor. 11:11)
nor the man without the woman,
in the Lord. (1 Cor. 11:11)
One Half of A Whole
When a man and a woman are in a marriage relationship (this is a relationship that is much more of a psychological and spiritual reality than mere legality, although all legal marriages are recognized by God even if this experiential aspect is lacking on the part of the couple concerned), they are no longer perceived as two individuals in the eyes of God. This should also be the experience on the part of the couple but unfortunately is not always so. A couple with a good marriage relationship always feels that they are, in reality, a part of each other: that each of them is one half of a whole rather than an individual.
For this cause shall a man
leave his father and mother,
and shall cleave to his wife;
and the two shall become one flesh:
so that they are no more two,
but one flesh. (Mark 10:7‑8)
leave his father and mother,
and shall cleave to his wife;
and the two shall become one flesh:
so that they are no more two,
but one flesh. (Mark 10:7‑8)
In the above verse, Jesus Himself states that such is indeed the case.
For the unbelieving husband is sanctified in the wife,
the unbelieving wife is sanctified in the brother. (1 Cor. 7:14).
the unbelieving wife is sanctified in the brother. (1 Cor. 7:14).
The bond in a marriage relationship is such that even if only one of the marriage partners is regenerated, the other partner is sanctified also.
For I am jealous over you with a godly jealousy:
for I espoused you to one husband
that I might present you
as a pure virgin to Christ. (2 Cor. 11:2)
for I espoused you to one husband
that I might present you
as a pure virgin to Christ. (2 Cor. 11:2)
Deny His Self-Life
As we have already seen, in the relationship of a believer to Christ, the believer must deny his self-life to express Christ. In this verse, the relationship of the believers, whether male or female, to Christ is depicted allegorically as that of a bride to her husband. Why?
For this cause shall a man
leave his father and mother,
and shall cleave to his wife;
and the two shall become one flesh.
This mystery is great: but I speak in regard of
Christ and of the church.
(Eph. 5:31-32)
leave his father and mother,
and shall cleave to his wife;
and the two shall become one flesh.
This mystery is great: but I speak in regard of
Christ and of the church.
(Eph. 5:31-32)
Christ and the Church
In these verses, we see that the relationship of a man and wife is a picture of the relationship of Christ and the church. The spiritual relationship between Christ and the church has as its correlation and expression in the physical universe the marriage relationship of a man and wife!
For the husband is the head of the wife,
as Christ also is the head of the church,
being himself the savior of the body. (Eph. 5:2)
as Christ also is the head of the church,
being himself the savior of the body. (Eph. 5:2)
Complementary Relationship
The marriage relationship is a complementary relationship: a man is not complete without a woman and a woman is not complete without a man. Each partner supplies one‑half of the relationship, but is the half supplied by the man identical to the half supplied by the woman? Of course not! That would merely be a cooperation and mutual understanding between two individuals and not a marriage relationship. Is this verse the expression of male chauvinistic thought, or is there a logical reason why its writing was considered necessary?
To set the mind on the flesh is death,
but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.
(Rom. 8:6 RSV)
but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.
(Rom. 8:6 RSV)
The Mind
As we have seen, the mind is the leading part of the soul. It is with the mind that we seek God and with the spirit that we find Him. It is the mind that is guided by the function of the conscience, and it is by the influence of the conscience on the mind that we know to avoid decisions contrary to what God wants.
The Emotions
Our emotions, however, are part of our soul influenced by the function of our spirit known as communion, or fellowship with God. It is with our emotions that we express the feeling of the Lord in particular matters. The decisions of our will should be based upon what we perceive, through the intuitive function of our spirit, what the Lord wants us to do. If we are not sure that we correctly perceive our intuition, then we should check with our conscience. Unless our conscience warns us against deciding in a particular way, then our decision should be made according to what logically seems to be the best course of action as analyzed by our mind. To make decisions based on our emotions, however, is a shot‑in‑the‑dark procedure that is totally unreliable.
In Their Mind or in Their Emotions
Due to genetically induced influences, largely hormonal, men are more mentally inclined and women are more emotionally inclined. Do not misunderstand me: I am not saying that women are any less capable mentally than men; research indicates that the intellectual capabilities of men and women are, for all intents and purposes, equal. Human beings, by natural inclination, spend their time dwelling either in their mind or in their emotions, with their will as an expression of this.
Men Spend More Time in Their Mind
What I am saying is that men are more comfortable in and spend more of their time in the mind, whereas women are more comfortable in and spend more of their time in their emotions. That women are more emotionally inclined is evidenced by "women's intuition" (not to be confused with the intuitive function of the spirit), where a decision is correctly reached apart from the logical processes of the mind. This inclination is also the reason why women are more inclined to the humanities than to abstract sciences.
Women Spend More Time in Their Emotions
Since the brain is the physical vehicle for the mind, we should expect this inclination to be expressed physiologically. This is indeed the case, as the average cranial volume of women is about 100 cc. (about 6‑7 percent) less than that of men. This is to be expected, since this inclination is genetically determined at the moment of conception. Let me emphasize once again that any differences in the mental ability of men and women are negligible, and that this is only a reflection of inclination.
That men are less emotionally inclined than women is the reason for the necessity of this verse. Husbands are not naturally inclined to express as much love for their wives as their wives express for them, since love is expressed with our emotions.
Even so ought husbands also to
love their own wives as their own bodies.
He that loveth his own wife loveth himself: (Eph. 5:28)
love their own wives as their own bodies.
He that loveth his own wife loveth himself: (Eph. 5:28)
He That Loves His Wife Loves Himself
For a man indeed ought not to have his head veiled, forasmuch, as
he is the image and glory of God:
but the woman is the glory of the man. (1 Cor. 11:7)
he is the image and glory of God:
but the woman is the glory of the man. (1 Cor. 11:7)
But I would have you know,
that the head of every man is Christ;
and the head of the woman is the man (1 Cor. 11:3)
that the head of every man is Christ;
and the head of the woman is the man (1 Cor. 11:3)
Wives, be in subjection unto your own husbands,
as unto the Lord. (Eph. 5:22)
as unto the Lord. (Eph. 5:22)
Inadequate Expression of Love
In marriages that are satisfying to both partners, the woman expresses not herself but her husband. This requires an effort of will on her part, which is the reason Ephesians 5:22 was written. Most, if not all, of the problems in marriage stem from either an inadequate expression of love by the husband or alack of submissiveness by the wife, or both. Why should a woman be subject to her husband? As has already been explained, decisions in spiritual matters require a mental inclination.
Lack of Submissiveness
But I permit not a woman to teach
nor to have dominion over a man. …(1 Tim. 2:12)
nor to have dominion over a man. …(1 Tim. 2:12)
This is why, in the New Testament, the apostles and church elders were always, and should always be, exclusively male.
And Adam was not beguiled,
but the woman being beguiled
hath fallen into transgression: (1 Tim. 2:14)
but the woman being beguiled
hath fallen into transgression: (1 Tim. 2:14)
Husband Should Always Take the Lead
In the relationship of a husband and wife, the husband should always take the lead and the husband should always make the final decision in matters affecting the marriage (but always out of love). This requires that the wife be subject to and express her husband. Today’s high divorce rate is a direct reflection of the influence of the rebellious nature in our flesh, which has been given a free reign today under the guise of the misnomer “liberation.”
However, let each one of you love his wife as himself,
and the wife that she respects her husband.
(Eph. 5:33 RSV)
and the wife that she respects her husband.
(Eph. 5:33 RSV)
Disrespecting Her Husband
What does it mean for a wife to disrespect her husband? Is it something as obvious or superficial as a wife saying disrespectful things about her husband? No. That is so obvious that it would not need mentioning. A wife who makes decisions that involve her marriage without consulting her husband acts as if she was not married and has no husband. This is the reality of disrespecting her husband.
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